What's In A Name?
Sometime in my Baylor University career, I was invited to a fancy luncheon where a handful of students (including myself) were being recognized for various achievements. I honestly can’t recall why I was being honored or if it what some type of clerical error. Perhaps the administration finally decided to recognize my above-average ability to oversleep and miss class. Everyone has their gifts.
Arriving at my table on the day of the luncheon, I looked at my place to see multiple forks, crystal, and fine china. Carefully placed on my plate was a place card, handwritten in fine black calligraphy. It read, “Brain Summerall.”
They obviously had not checked my GPA.
Over the years, I’ve experienced “Brian” being confused with “Brain” quite a few times. My full name is actually Charles Brian Summerall. Charles means “man.” Brian means “strong.” Put it all together and my name means “strong men’s swimwear.” (I think.)
While being called “Brain” is humorous, there is something about people knowing your name. Dale Carnegie in “How to Win Friends and Influence People" says,“Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”
Baylor Athletic Director, Mack Rhoades, was tasked with hiring a new head football coach after a tragic, well publicized, period of Baylor football where wins were valued over people. When interviewing potential coach Matt Rhule from Temple, he asked this question, “Do you know the names of all the custodians in your building?”
When Rhule not only listed them all by name but also knew things about their families, Rhoades said he knew he had the right guy. Baylor finally learned that how you treat people is more important than what offense you run.
The same is true for the Church. How you treat people and remembering names is far more important than the number or the size of the programs you run. The most contemporary, hippest, skinny jean wearing worship band, the preacher with the most podcast subscribers, or the youth group that rents the most inflatables will never have more impact than true, authentic relationships.
Chuck Swindoll, pastor of Stonebriar Church in Frisco, Texas, puts it like this:
“We need to overcome the opinion that what really matters Is size or numbers. That we really want growth, growth, growth. I find it refreshing to come across highly and gifted people in ministry who are still servants at heart, who still remember names, who still are committed to helping people, showing compassion and caring, who are still fun to be with. They are vulnerable, good parents, good neighbors, good citizens.”
Relationships will always trump programs. Jesus knew that and showed it throughout the Gospels.
That’s why I love it when Jesus calls Zacchaeus by name in Luke 19. In that chapter, he doesn’t offer him a program or a to do list. He just offers him a relationship, a chance to be fully known and accepted as he is.
“When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, 'Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today.'” Luke 19:5
Jesus wasn’t satisfied with “Hey, chief” or “Buddy.” In the midst of a huge crowd, he picks the furthermost out person (literally and figuratively) and calls his name.
Now, Zacchaeus would not have been voted the person “Most Likely to Have Dinner with Jesus” in his senior yearbook. “Most Likely to Stab You in the Back and Rip You Off’ would have been more likely.
But, that personal touch, the calling of his name, that feeling of being known, made Zacchaeus do something unexpected.
So he came down at once and welcomed him gladly. Luke 19:6
No time to clean up the house. No time to clean up his life. That’s not what Jesus required. Jesus calling him by name in effect said, “I know you, exactly as you are, and I want to spend time with you. You are valuable.”
Notice also that Jesus wanted this to happen on Zacchaeus’ turf, not his. He didn’t invite him to the temple or to a speaking engagement he had by the lake later that day. He went to Zacchaeus’ house.
That’s a good lesson for all of us. I grow a bit weary at times of the pressure that can be put on congregations to “invite people to church.” How can we ever expect people to follow us to church if we have not shown we are not willing to meet them on their turf first?
If we learn names and show a genuine interest in their world, we may not have to invite them. We might find they just naturally begin to follow us into our world.
Recently I was reminded of the value of remembering names. For over 35 years, I’ve spoken at Young Life clubs, retreats and camps across the U.S, Canada, and Europe. I recently put a post on Facebook asking any old club kids, leaders, or staff, if there was any story or illustration I've used over the last 35 years of speaking that still sticks with them.
Here are just a couple of the responses:
“I remember when it was my first week at Frontier Ranch two years ago on work crew. I was cleaning one of the rooms downstairs of the club room and you came in and said, 'Hey Morgan! How are you doing?' Honestly, Brian, it caught me off guard that you knew my name. I was so shocked that you knew who I was. It made me feel like I have a friend from home, ya know.” - Morgan
"It wasn't a message that I remember, but I’ll never forget the first day of being on Summer Staff at Windy Gap in 2009. We had never met and I was raking the sand on the volleyball court and you walked by and said, 'Hey Annie! Great to see you!' I was so amazed at how you had already learned my name.” - Annie
Long after they forget the preacher’s stories or illustrations, the songs the band sang, or the wacky skits the youth minister did, they’ll remember that you called them by name. They’ll remember you made them feel at home. They’ll remember the dinner you shared. The podcasts will be deleted, the songs will be replaced with others, and the skits will fade from memory, but relationships will live on.
And years later, you’ll still be friends.