Truth in a Beer Commercial
The Kansas City Chiefs won the actual game, but Bud Light may be the winner when it comes to Super Bowl commercials.
"Your estimated wait time is less than 96 minutes," the automated voice says via the speakerphone resting on Keleigh Teller's forehead. Then, the hold music starts. You know the music.
We all know the music. It's one of the most popular songs played on hold. The song is Opus No. 1 by Tim Carleton and Darrick Deel, better known as the Cisco hold music.
While the exasperated Keleigh lays on the couch waiting, her husband, actor Miles Teller (Top Gun: Maverick), opens up two Bud Lights and starts to dance to the hypnotic music.
It's a humorous dance, and he beckons his wife off the couch to join in. She relents and finally gives in as the living room dance party begins.
What starts as something mundane becomes something joyful.
Tom Petty might have sung, "The waiting is the hardest part," but that is not true in this Bud Light commercial. The beer company is said to be "harnessing the power of easy enjoyment" with its new campaign. I think they harness it well.
The phone is not the only place we find ourselves on hold. There can be a lot of "being on hold" in life... a lot of waiting. We are all waiting for things to play out how we want them to.
We wait for many things. It might be for a job, a spouse, or for starting a family. It might be waiting for the test results to come back or for a health issue to be resolved. Or perhaps it's for a prodigal loved one to return. Waiting takes many forms.
While we are "on hold" it is easy to get bogged down in worry and just plain stuck. In other words, you stay on the couch with the phone balanced on your forehead, waiting… waiting… waiting. When is this going to end? When will my answer come? Is there really someone on the other line?
However, during our "hold time," God wants us to let go and trust His story for us. We are to trust His timing. It's okay to go on and live our lives (or even dance!) when life has us on hold. I wonder how many simple joys God has for us that we miss out on while we pause our lives during times of waiting. Why stay on the couch when there is dancing just a few feet away?
Yes, we are called many times in scripture to wait on the Lord.
"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope." Psalm 130:5
But, I am more convinced that does not mean putting everything in our life on hold. After all, the same God who calls us to wait also says…
"Today is the day the lord has made; let us Rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24
It seems like the choice is to stay stuck in worry or rejoice and dance. And God's word is very clear about worry.
"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" Matthew 6:27
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Philippians 4:6
This is one of the great tensions in life. Holding the reality of the seasons we're in and what we're waiting for with the truth that we can find good and joy in the midst of it all. What does it look like for you to hear the beat and maybe even dance a little while you wait? Hopefully the song is a little better than Opus No. 1.
I’m Running As Fast As I Can
It is only January 31st, and after good intentions and New Year's resolutions, I find myself going back to my default mode. Each day I seem to be running faster and faster. Now, if this were related to an exercise routine or weight loss goal, this would be a good thing. Sadly it's not that. It's about my schedule, pace, and the need for rest. It's that voice that says, "You are not doing enough. You are falling behind!"
Again, it's only January 31st, and as I got on the elevator heading to my office this morning, overwhelmed with a to-do list getting longer and longer, the voice in my head said, "Run faster!!!"
That voice always takes me back to one particular first-grade soccer game I attended years ago. The parent of one of my son's teammates was sitting in a nice, comfortable lawn chair on the sidelines. This particular boy was a great little athlete. Always giving it everything he had. He was, far and away, one of the best players on the field. Yet as the boy would run down the field, any time he got within twenty yards of his father, the dad would berate him at the top of his lungs, yelling, "Run faster!!!"
It wasn't just a one-time thing. Every time the boy passed, we were all treated to a disapproving father screaming at his son, "Run faster! Run faster!"
Finally, the son had enough. Fed up with the criticism of the one sitting comfortably in a chair, the next time the six-year-old ran by the sideline near his father, he threw out his arms in exasperation and yelled back, "I'm running as fast as I can!!!"
Mic drop. Dad didn't yell again.
I wonder how many times I have made the mistake of picturing God as the father on the sidelines of that soccer game. Before I knew Jesus, my image of God was of a father far removed from us in the stands of heaven, thoroughly dissatisfied with my efforts, imploring me to do better, try harder, and do more!
Even after beginning a relationship with Jesus, I can see where I often fall into the same trap. I picture myself out on the field of life, trying my best to serve Him, doing ministry, and living my life according to His will. And what voice do I think I hear from the stands of heaven? It's the disapproving voice of a father yelling, "Run faster!!!"
Or, more specifically, "Have more quiet times! Be good! Give more! Go to more Bible studies! Listen to more Christian podcasts! You're just not doing enough."
All the while, I am looking up to God, trying my best to do my Christian "song and dance," and I'm thinking, I'm running as fast as I can!
The only problem with this way of life is that the voice I am answering to is not the Lord's. It's a lie. God's voice is not the same as my earthly father's voice that I tried so hard to please with straight A's every semester or the disapproving dad in the lawn chair on the sidelines.
Want to know what He is really saying? Put away the lies for just a minute, stop looking to the imaginary sidelines, and listen to the voice of your real Father.
"For thus the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, has said, 'In repentance and rest you will be saved, in quietness and trust is your strength.'" (Isaiah 30:15)
"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret." (Psalm 37:7, NIV 1984)
"Slow down. Take a deep breath. What's the hurry? Why wear yourself out? Just what are you after anyway?" (Jeremiah 2:25, MSG)
God's voice is the opposite of the voice on the sideline yelling, "Run faster!!!" And remember, He's never been content to be on the sidelines, so it's definitely not His voice if that is where you hear it from.
"The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." (Zephaniah 3:17, NIV 1984, emphasis added)
He's "God with you, Immanuel," not God disapprovingly sitting on the sidelines in a camping chair. The One who holds the oceans in the palm of His hand can't be confined to a lawn chair, my friends.
If it's not Him yelling, "Run faster!" then who is it? Don't forget, you have an enemy. An enemy who wants you to feel defeated and unworthy and desperately wants you to give up.
"Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour." (1 Peter 5:8, ESV)
"But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent's cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ." (2 Corinthians 11:3, NIV 1984)
When you hear the "Run faster!" voice, call it what it is. A lie. Deception from your enemy who is trying to lead you astray "from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ." It's just plain garbage.
What happens when that voice comes from other believers? Call it the same. Garbage.
Sometimes even those who claim to know Jesus will tell you that you're just not doing it right. I'll never forget the guest preacher I heard who proclaimed from the pulpit that you are a "horrible Christian" if you are not in a community group.
It's a given. Some people will always say you need to do more. Hoops will be put in front of the Gospel. Remember, when that happens, you're in good company. The religious leaders of the time never thought Jesus was doing it right either.
Stop playing the comparison game. And when your enemy or even a fellow believer lobs a "Run faster!" lie your way, instead of throwing out your arms in exasperation, just pass those lawn chairs by. Let the voice of your Creator be your compass.
"Be still, and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10, ESV)
The loudmouth critic in the lawn chair (whose yoke is anything but easy) doesn't get a vote.
Slow down. Take a breath. Quiet the voice. And if there is a lawn chair near, take a seat and find rest for your soul. Perhaps at halftime we'll all have Capri Suns and orange slices.
"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."
Matthew 11:28–30
The Rule of Life Podcast - Sabbath
What if instead of adding more to your to-do list, you created a day in which you could stop doing at all? This podcast by John Mark Comer introduces and unpacks the concept of Sabbath and how to incorporate it into your weekly schedule.
"The Sabbath is a 24-hour hour time period set aside to stop, rest, delight, and worship. It is the best day of the week. In our era of chronic exhaustion, emotional unhealth, and spiritual stagnation, few things are more necessary than the recovery of this ancient practice."
- John Mark Comer
Listen to the first episode HERE.
Lessons From An (Almost) Empty Nester
For some reason or another, these thoughts came to my mind while driving to the office a few weeks ago. Maybe it's because we put down a college enrollment deposit for my youngest one last night. Or maybe it's because someone out there on our TB3 email list needs to hear it today.
I know Michele and I have not really crossed the finish line as parents (you never really do) and I have made, and still will make, PLENTY of mistakes. But, with that in mind, I present to you things I have learned being an ALMOST empty nester…
1. Your child will still have friends if their soccer career ends in first grade.
2. No college will ever ask for your kid’s grade on the 7th-grade history exam
3. Every few years it’s okay to pretend you are driving your kids to school and then wind up at the airport flying to Disney World instead.
4. When it comes to schools, there is no “one size fits all.” It’s about what works best for your kid at that particular time.
5. You don’t have to hire the ex-Texas Ranger as the hitting coach for your t-ball team.
6. If your child is never in Honors or takes an AP class, the world will not end.
7. Too many times I have tried to write a future for my kids that was never mine to write.
8. Some things are more important than homework.
9. Never miss a classroom party or a chance to read in your kid's class if at all possible.
10. It’s a learning difference, not a disability. And it can be a gift to look at the world in a different way. Celebrate it.
11. If you are a mom with a son and are unable to do YMSL (Young Men’s Service League) together and he will still be able to get into college and have a bright future.
12. It’s EXHAUSTING trying to keep up with everyone else and thinking that just one wrong move on your part as a parent will mean your child will “fall behind” or be “left out.”
13. Read to your kids in bed every night as long as they will let you. One day that ends and you will miss it dearly.
14. There is no recipe. If there was, we’d all follow it and every kid would turn out the same.
15. You can’t out-parent God. After all, a third of His angels rebelled against Him and so did Adam and Eve.
16. God loves your child more than you do and He can be trusted.
I just thought some exhausted parent out there might need to read this today. Take a breath. Relax.
Oh, if I could only get the hours, days, and nights back that I worried about making the “wrong move” with my boys. I’d take them all back, add them up, and head for Disney World or simply read through the Harry Potter books in bed with them one more time.
Mall Pizza, Ice Cream, and Santa
I went up in the attic this morning. It was time to get the Christmas tree and decorations down. The simple climb up the ladder might be an easy trip for some, but not for me over the last few years. It's a hard climb… not physically, but emotionally. Over the last many Christmas', I've lost both parents and a best friend. Our oldest has moved to North Carolina. It's honestly hard to face the attic of memories.
Inevitably, in one of those dust-covered plastic storage boxes of Christmas stuff, I will find one picture. My oldest son, David's, first Santa picture. Memories of that night flood back.
When David was three, he and I would make our way to the mall one night a week to give mom a break. The routine was the same — mall pizza, followed by the Apple Store, the play area, and then ice cream.
As David and I would make our way through the mall on November nights, he would be drawn to the Christmas tree as any three-year-old would, mouth open, with a sense of awe and wonder. Inevitably, we would find ourselves in line to see Santa, something he had never done up to this point.
Slowly the line would move as each child got their chance for a picture with Santa. David would lean in and watch the exchange that was going on.
After a long wait, once we would get a few spots from the front of the line, David would look up at me and say, "No thank you, Daddy. No thank you." He was just not ready, and that was okay. I was not going to force a Santa visit on my son. It would have to be his choice.
This scenario played out the same way multiple times. David would be drawn in by tree, we found our place in line, and then once close to the front, he would tell me, "No thank you, Daddy." Each time I would explain to David that was it fine not to see Santa and that we would go get ice cream and hit the Apple Store (almost as magical as the North Pole) instead.
Later that same evening, at home, we started the tradition of reading "The Night Before Christmas" every night before David went to bed and before every afternoon nap. After a week, Michele and I had it memorized as we would patiently answer a curious little boy's questions about Santa.
One particular night in late December at the mall was different, though. Oh, it started out the same. The tree would draw us in, and then hand in hand, we would find ourselves in line. This time, however, as we got closer to the front, David leaned in and closely observed a boy and girl on Santa's lap laughing and talking. David looked at me with wide, innocent eyes and proclaimed, "He's a very nice man." I knelt down and gently told him, "Oh, you don't know the half of it."
Our moment finally came as we finally made it to the front of the line, and we were next. David had a decision to make. We could walk away and get pizza, or he could meet Santa. He looked up at me and then to Santa... the moment of truth.
He ran to Santa and jumped up into his lap. Santa gave him a big hug and tickled him under the chin. David laughed and then proceeded to ask Santa for a striped ball and a fire truck. Having read 'The Night Before Christmas" every night for the past month at bedtime, David had seen Santa bring these toys to the little boy in the pages of the book. (He must have figured Santa had these toys readily in stock.) Hugs were exchanged, and a picture was taken while Santa said he would do the best he could. David jumped down and waved goodbye.
Tears in my eyes, proud of my son's first encounter with Santa, I proceeded to the checkout to order the most expensive picture package to commemorate this occasion. I chose the one with two 8x10's, one 5x7, 24 wallets, a tote bag, a mouse pad, a coffee mug, a quilt, a 3-D hologram, and an ice sculpture. He's 22 now, as I write this, and I'm still making payments on that purchase.
As we were leaving, David's hand in mine, I looked down at him and asked him what he thought. He simply replied, "I love him very much."
I will never forget those special trips to the mall. But as I look back on them today, I realize David's journey to Santa is not unlike many of our journeys to Jesus.
Perhaps there are people in your life that have taken you by the hand and led you to Jesus. Your initial response may have been similar to David's response to Santa. "No thank you." I'm fine right where I am. Let's just move on to something else.
Not deterred by this, they kept telling you the story over time and patiently and gently answered your questions, not unlike how we patiently read "The Night Before Christmas" to David and answered his questions. Perhaps you even gave the response, "He's a very nice man," to which they wanted to reply, "Oh, you don't know the half of it."
Hopefully, one day came, though, that was hoped and prayed for by our family and friends... that we let go of their hand and ran to Jesus. That day we may have said for the very first time, "I love him very much."
Do you remember the first time you said that about Jesus? Is there someone special who helped lead you there? Maybe this year it's time to repay the favor. Maybe there is a friend, co-worker, or family member that it's time someone took an interest in and took them by the hand.
Just like someone did for you, take them to Jesus. Be patient. Love them regardless of response.
"Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God." John 1:21
And if, by chance, you do one day get to hear them say of Jesus, "I love Him very much," for the first time, celebrate. Stop by the mall for pizza and ice cream. And get the most expensive picture package.
Skipping Thanksgiving
It seems like the day after Halloween, Costco and Sam's immediately put out the Christmas decorations. Radio stations switch to "All Christmas, All the Time!" (Note that after New Year's, we don't switch to "All 4th of July, All the Time!" We aren't overrun with John Phillips Sousa stations.)
My friend, Leslie Dawson, once pointed this out to me, suggesting that it shows our lack of gratitude and constant desire for more.
She's right. We often skip Thanksgiving. Oh, we may gather, watch football, and eat turkey, but are our hearts truly thankful?
We go straight from "give me some candy," to speeding past being thankful, to "It's Black Friday! I need more stuff!" (And we will trample people to get it.)
More, more, more…
What doesn't fit in the house goes in the garage. What doesn't fit in the garage goes in the shed. Can't fit in the shed? Rent a storage unit. And don't even get me started about what's up in the attic.
Don Henley of the Eagles puts our lack of gratitude this way in his song, "My Thanksgiving."
"Now, the trouble with you and me, my friend
Is the trouble with this nation
Too many blessings, too little appreciation
And I know that kind of notion—well, it just ain't cool
So send me back to Sunday school."
Maybe Mr. Henley is right and we all could use a trip back to Sunday school.
The concept of "thanks" or "thankfulness" comes up 173 times in the Bible. But let's just quickly look at three of those instances.
"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:5-7
"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful." Colossians 3:15
See some common themes? Rejoice, pray, give thanks, and peace.
These are not things to be rushed past. They are not speed bumps on the way to Christmas to be swerved around or run over. They are all worth stopping for.
Maybe that's why the rates of anxiety and depression can run so high during the holiday season. When we don't stop long enough to pray and give thanks, we miss the peace and rejoicing. There is no "merry and bright" in the fast lane. (Surely make you lose your mind.)
Let's make a pact to slow down this Thanksgiving week and show gratitude. Stay at the table a little longer. Tell stories and laugh hard together. Don't rush out the door. Start up a conversation over doing the dishes. Linger in the moment. Take the time to make a list of your many blessings rather than your Christmas list.
After all, we've much to be thankful for. As the guy, who I'll say "pass the potatoes to" on Thursday, said in the song I quoted earlier…
"I've got great expectations
I've got family and friends
I've got satisfying work
I've got a back that bends
For every breath, for every day of living
This is my Thanksgiving" - Don Henley
Happy Thanksgiving!
Lessons in Loyalty from Apple, Oakley, and God
I’m loyal to Oakley and Apple. While that might not come as a surprise to many of you, I want to share with you a couple of stories as to why. I was reminded of these stories in a recent Bible Study I was leading on Romans. The verse we were discussing was:
“Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and restraint and patience,
not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?”
Romans 2:4
Here are the memories that came to mind.
My son, Daniel, was probably five. We were playing in the pool during a vacation. Daniel was jumping off of my shoulders, and as he did, he accidentally kicked back toward my face and hit my sunglasses. One of the earpieces snapped in two. I realized after the fact that I probably should not wear expensive sunglasses while playing in the pool with my boys.
Knowing my warranty would not cover accidental damage, I packaged up the glasses and sent them back to Oakley with a letter. It stated that I knew the breakage was not covered and explained how it happened. I inquired what it would cost to replace the earpiece. I also explained how I had not taken very good care of the lenses, using my t-shirt to clean them rather than the microfiber cloth they suggested. As a result of my poor care, the lenses were full of scratches. “What would it cost to replace those as well?” I asked.
A month later, I received a package in the mail from Oakley. It was a brand-new pair of sunglasses. No questions asked.
I am Oakley loyal for life.
A few years later, I was rushing out of the garage to pick up my oldest, David, from a Boy Scout camp two hours away. On the way out the door, I grabbed my iPad so he could perhaps watch a movie lying down in the back seat on the way home.
After the four-hour round trip, I realized I did not have my iPad. David slept all the way home, so I never used it in the car. Suddenly I realized I had left it on top of the car as I left on the trip.
Panicked, I went for a walk down our street in the dark. About five houses down, there was the iPad in the middle of the street. It had been rained on and run over multiple times. It was SMASHED.
The next day I took it to the Apple Store. I explained to the Apple Genius what had happened. When I showed her the iPad she laughed, and rightly so. Explaining that I knew Apple Care did not cover accidental damage and basic stupidity, I asked if there was anything salvageable. How much would it cost me to make this iPad whole again?
The young lady took the iPad to the back of the store and told me to wait. Five minutes later, she came back and handed me a brand-new iPad.
“Wait! You are not supposed to do this. I know the warranty does not cover this!” I exclaimed.
She smiled and said, “I know. Just keep buying Apple products.”
I am Apple loyal for life.
I do the same thing I did to Oakley and Apple to God over and over again. And He does what Oakley and Apple did for me over and over again… and again… and again.
Like the glasses and iPad, I am broken beyond repair, and it is nobody’s fault but my own. Blaming someone else is futile and leads to a life of bitterness and playing the victim.
But rather than blame, I approach the Throne of Grace (so much easier than getting an Apple Store appointment these days) and present myself to God.
“Lord, I know it’s nobody’s fault but my own, but here I am again, broken. And I know that you have already forgiven me thousands of times.”
He smiles. Unlike Apple, he does not ask me to wait, and there is no reason to go looking in the back stockroom. Just like Romans 2 says, out “of the riches of His kindness and restraint and patience,” my Creator makes me new again—brand new.
“If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and
purify us from all unrighteousness.”
1 John 1:8-9
I may be Oakley and Apple loyal for life, but I am God loyal for eternity.
It really is “the kindness of God leads you to repentance .”
Again and again and again…
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”
2 Corinthians 5:17
You Wouldn’t Believe It
“You wouldn’t believe.” These are the most powerful words in creating an unforgettable experience. They speak to something so outrageous, so surprising, so beyond expectation that there’s only one possible response; tell the story to others.
Jesse Cole - Owner of the Savanah Bananas
It’s the same response to what God has done for us. There’s only one possible response. Tell the story to others.
Like the Israelites, we forget. Take a moment to pause in your day and remember. How has God's kindness, grace & gospel changed you? Is He putting someone on your heart to share that with?
May our lives be a continued testimony of His never failing kindness and grace.
What Jerry Seinfeld Has To Say About Your Church, Ministry, or Business
“Everything has changed.”
If you are like me, you’ve heard that statement many times since March 15, 2020, the day the pandemic shutdown began. This statement has been applied to churches, Young Life, para-church ministries, and businesses over the last two and a half years regarding attendance or numbers.
Maybe that was the case for a period of time, but I would argue that that change was not permanent, even though I keep hearing “everything has changed” repeated as a reason people are not showing up.
And yet, as I watched the Cowboys and Giants play on Monday night football last night, the stands looked full to me. My wife, son, and I will be at an Elton John concert Friday night in a sold-out stadium.
Maybe it’s time to stop saying, “everything has changed,” when it comes to our numbers.
I read this column in the New York Times written by Jerry Seinfeld as he reacted to an editorial that basically said, “New York is dead” as a result of the pandemic. I think Jerry’s reaction applies to our churches, Young Life, and other ministries, along with businesses, as much as it does New York... so I took the liberty of inserting us into the story. Enjoy.
“There’s some other stupid thing in the article about ‘bandwidth’ and how New York (Church, Young Life, your business) is over because everybody will “remote everything.” Guess what: Everyone hates to do this. Everyone. Hates.
You know why? There’s no energy.
Energy, attitude, and personality cannot be “remoted” through even the best fiber optic lines. That’s the whole reason many of us moved to New York (go to Church, Young Life, your business) in the first place.
Do you ever wonder why Silicon Valley even exists? I have always wondered why these people all live and work in that location. They have all this insane technology; why don’t they all just spread out wherever they want to be and connect with their devices? Because it doesn’t work, that’s why.
Real, live, inspiring human energy exists when we coagulate together in crazy places like New York City (Church, Young Life, your business). Feeling sorry for yourself because you can’t go to the theater (fill in your activity here) for a while is not the essential element of character that made New York (Church, Young Life, your business)) the brilliant diamond of activity it will one day be again.” - Jerry Seinfeld.
My good friend, Dick Dillingham, said that at his company, Keller Williams, they say, “you can either have reasons or results, but you can’t have both.”
We all need to ask ourselves, two and a half years after the shutdown, are we still hanging on to “reasons,” or are we leaning into the opportunity ahead of all of us to reach more people?
Savannah Bananas owner Jesse Cole says, “Instead of making excuses, we made ourselves different… The only way to win in business is to make adjustments, not excuses.”
Let’s not spend our time looking over our shoulder at the things that temporally held us back. It’s time for us all to focus on the things that made our ministries or businesses the “brilliant diamond of activity” they will one day be again.
“Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 3:13-14
What's In A Name?
Sometime in my Baylor University career, I was invited to a fancy luncheon where a handful of students (including myself) were being recognized for various achievements. I honestly can’t recall why I was being honored or if it what some type of clerical error. Perhaps the administration finally decided to recognize my above-average ability to oversleep and miss class. Everyone has their gifts.
Arriving at my table on the day of the luncheon, I looked at my place to see multiple forks, crystal, and fine china. Carefully placed on my plate was a place card, handwritten in fine black calligraphy. It read, “Brain Summerall.”
They obviously had not checked my GPA.
Over the years, I’ve experienced “Brian” being confused with “Brain” quite a few times. My full name is actually Charles Brian Summerall. Charles means “man.” Brian means “strong.” Put it all together and my name means “strong men’s swimwear.” (I think.)
While being called “Brain” is humorous, there is something about people knowing your name. Dale Carnegie in “How to Win Friends and Influence People" says,“Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”
Baylor Athletic Director, Mack Rhoades, was tasked with hiring a new head football coach after a tragic, well publicized, period of Baylor football where wins were valued over people. When interviewing potential coach Matt Rhule from Temple, he asked this question, “Do you know the names of all the custodians in your building?”
When Rhule not only listed them all by name but also knew things about their families, Rhoades said he knew he had the right guy. Baylor finally learned that how you treat people is more important than what offense you run.
The same is true for the Church. How you treat people and remembering names is far more important than the number or the size of the programs you run. The most contemporary, hippest, skinny jean wearing worship band, the preacher with the most podcast subscribers, or the youth group that rents the most inflatables will never have more impact than true, authentic relationships.
Chuck Swindoll, pastor of Stonebriar Church in Frisco, Texas, puts it like this:
“We need to overcome the opinion that what really matters Is size or numbers. That we really want growth, growth, growth. I find it refreshing to come across highly and gifted people in ministry who are still servants at heart, who still remember names, who still are committed to helping people, showing compassion and caring, who are still fun to be with. They are vulnerable, good parents, good neighbors, good citizens.”
Relationships will always trump programs. Jesus knew that and showed it throughout the Gospels.
That’s why I love it when Jesus calls Zacchaeus by name in Luke 19. In that chapter, he doesn’t offer him a program or a to do list. He just offers him a relationship, a chance to be fully known and accepted as he is.
“When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, 'Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today.'” Luke 19:5
Jesus wasn’t satisfied with “Hey, chief” or “Buddy.” In the midst of a huge crowd, he picks the furthermost out person (literally and figuratively) and calls his name.
Now, Zacchaeus would not have been voted the person “Most Likely to Have Dinner with Jesus” in his senior yearbook. “Most Likely to Stab You in the Back and Rip You Off’ would have been more likely.
But, that personal touch, the calling of his name, that feeling of being known, made Zacchaeus do something unexpected.
So he came down at once and welcomed him gladly. Luke 19:6
No time to clean up the house. No time to clean up his life. That’s not what Jesus required. Jesus calling him by name in effect said, “I know you, exactly as you are, and I want to spend time with you. You are valuable.”
Notice also that Jesus wanted this to happen on Zacchaeus’ turf, not his. He didn’t invite him to the temple or to a speaking engagement he had by the lake later that day. He went to Zacchaeus’ house.
That’s a good lesson for all of us. I grow a bit weary at times of the pressure that can be put on congregations to “invite people to church.” How can we ever expect people to follow us to church if we have not shown we are not willing to meet them on their turf first?
If we learn names and show a genuine interest in their world, we may not have to invite them. We might find they just naturally begin to follow us into our world.
Recently I was reminded of the value of remembering names. For over 35 years, I’ve spoken at Young Life clubs, retreats and camps across the U.S, Canada, and Europe. I recently put a post on Facebook asking any old club kids, leaders, or staff, if there was any story or illustration I've used over the last 35 years of speaking that still sticks with them.
Here are just a couple of the responses:
“I remember when it was my first week at Frontier Ranch two years ago on work crew. I was cleaning one of the rooms downstairs of the club room and you came in and said, 'Hey Morgan! How are you doing?' Honestly, Brian, it caught me off guard that you knew my name. I was so shocked that you knew who I was. It made me feel like I have a friend from home, ya know.” - Morgan
"It wasn't a message that I remember, but I’ll never forget the first day of being on Summer Staff at Windy Gap in 2009. We had never met and I was raking the sand on the volleyball court and you walked by and said, 'Hey Annie! Great to see you!' I was so amazed at how you had already learned my name.” - Annie
Long after they forget the preacher’s stories or illustrations, the songs the band sang, or the wacky skits the youth minister did, they’ll remember that you called them by name. They’ll remember you made them feel at home. They’ll remember the dinner you shared. The podcasts will be deleted, the songs will be replaced with others, and the skits will fade from memory, but relationships will live on.
And years later, you’ll still be friends.
Tom Raley, Henri Nouwen & The Beach Boys
There is a hat rack in my office with an old wool fedora hanging on it. I always get asked if it is mine. It belongs to my friend Tom Raley, who passed away in 2012 at the age of 79. When I came on staff with Young Life in 1987, Tom had already been on staff for 30 years. We shared an office during his last years, and I consider Tom one of my greatest mentors.
Not long ago, I pulled Tom’s copy of a book we read together off the shelf. It was “Creative Ministry” by Henri Nouwen. The chapter entitled "Beyond Retelling the Story: Preaching" hit me hard as I began to think about a “Communicating the Message Clearly” workshop I was preparing to lead. I was especially struck by what Tom had underlined.
Here are just a few things he felt his red pen and ruler were worthy of...
"But whenever an answer is given when there is no question, support is offered when there is no need, or an idea is given when there is no desire to know, the only possible effect can be irritation or plain indifference."
Now before I re-type the entire book, ask yourself a few questions as you prepare your next message, devotional, or Bible study you lead.
1. Am I answering questions that anyone is asking?
2. Am I really in touch with the feelings of those I address?
3. If not, what do I need to do to put myself in their place, feel what they are feeling, and ask what they are asking?
4. Do I keep myself on the outside as the speaker or leader, untouchable and invulnerable?
5. Am I willing to risk real engagement to be in relationship with those who listen?
6. How can I put my own faith and doubt, anxiety and hope, fear and joy in my message to remove obstacles to my message being heard?
I know that's a lot to ponder, but I try to ask myself those questions as I prepare a message or give a devotional.
Nouwen says that when true dialogue between the preacher and his listeners takes place, then the audience member can say...
"What you say loudly, I whispered in the dark; what you pronounce so clearly, I had some suspicion about; what you had put in the foreground, I felt in the back of my mind; what you hold so firmly in your hand always slipped away through my fingers. Yes, I find myself in your words..."
Maybe that's what the famous director Cameron Crowe (Jerry Maguire, Almost Famous) meant when he said this about hearing Beach Boys famous "Pet Sounds" album for the first time at age 13...
"You find songs so personal that they feel like someone’s been reading your diary... you ache hearing these songs; they’re filled with secret cries for help disguised in harmonies. For me, Pet Sounds is a record that takes you gently by the lapels and says, 'Here’s what it feels like to be alive.'”
When you speak or teach, may your audience find themselves in the words of the Gospel as we say it loudly, pronounce it clearly, put it in the foreground, and hold firmly to nothing other than the Good News. May they say perhaps for the first time, "Here's what it feels to be fully alive."
Do yourself a favor and pick up a copy of Nouwen's Creative Ministry.
Just make sure you have a red pen and a ruler handy. You'll need it.
Sidewalk Chalk
Brace yourself. It’s about to happen again. Mid-term elections are just around the corner. (cue song… “It’s Beginning to Look a lot like Chaos…)
The ads have started. The rhetoric has begun. Soon neighbors who have finally called a ceasefire will be up in arms again.
The “Neighborhood App” will be filled with posts of stolen political yard signs and endless replies and comments worthy of a Lifetime made-for-tv movie.
I remember when this last happened. Our last major election.
I had just witnessed “full grown men” whom I knew personally, all in full-time ministry positions, posting on Facebook flat out vitriol and venom about whoever they considered “the other side.” Pastors, heads of international ministries, and seminary graduates I knew just seemed to need an enemy to attack, to call names. And they wanted it to hurt… badly.
After reading one too many, I just felt dirty. I felt sick to my stomach.
Then I went for a walk.
To my surprise, some kids on our block had written encouraging notes with sidewalk chalk throughout the neighborhood. It did not matter to them what political sign was in the yard.
As I walked from house to house, I read colorful notes of…
I Love Your Yard.
I Hope You Have a Good Week!
I Love Your Decorations.
I Love Your Trees.
As I returned to my front porch, I pondered whose example to follow.
I think I will go buy some sidewalk chalk. I hope you will consider joining me.
Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these." (Matthew 19:14)
May we never grow up to be “full grown men.”
You Belong Here
You belong here.
That’s the message I received loud and clear at the first Savanah Bananas baseball game Michele and I attended a few weeks ago. And it started with the break-dancing first base coach.
A break-dancing first base coach? Yep.
Throughout the game, I could not take my eyes off of him. He had routines to everything from the soundtrack of “Titanic” to Micheal Jackson. My wife Michele, a dancer herself, stood in line with all of the 10 year old kids just to get a picture with him. Turns out he is classically trained in ballet.
At the end of the evening, outside the stadium on the plaza, we circled up. And by we, I mean the fans, players, ushers, concession workers, and the owner. In the middle of the circle was the dancing first base coach and a Tuba player. They lead us all in a sing-a-long of the song, “Stand By Me.”
Old, young, black, white, hispanic, male, female, Democrat, Republican, gay, straight, Pro-Life and Pro-Choice all linked arms swaying and singing every word to the song at the top of their lungs.
“If the sky that we look upon
Should tumble and fall
Or the mountains should crumble to the sea
I won't cry, I won't cry, no, I won't shed a tear
Just as long as you stand, stand by me"
In a world of school shootings, the war in Ukraine, racial tension, and political parties screaming at each other, a diverse group of people linked arms for just a moment in Savannah, Georgia, and sang.
“Whenever you’re in trouble, won’t you stand by me…”
In that moment, we knew we all belonged. We knew we were a part of a community and a bigger story.
I did not want it to end.
I can’t wait to go back.
And I began to ask myself on the way back to the hotel, “Is that the experience most people get Sunday mornings at Church?”
Do we get the message, “You belong here”?
Can we say at the end of the service, “We knew we all belonged. We knew we were a part of a community and a bigger story. We did not want it to end. We can’t wait to go back"?
My good friend once told me, “Brian, I grew up in an East Texas Church. At the end of the service, we would invite people to walk the aisle while we sang the words ‘Just As I Am'... but we didn’t mean it.”
It was not a true message of, “You belong here.”
It reminds me of Luke 19.
When Jesus reached the spot, He looked up and said to him, "Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today." So he came down at once and welcomed him gladly. All the people saw this and began to mutter, "He has gone to be the guest of a `sinner.’''
The Pharisees probably weren’t big on the hymn, “Just As I Am.”
I think we would all do good to remember the words of author Brennan Manning.
“Here is revelation bright as the evening star: Jesus comes for sinners, for those as outcast as tax collectors and for those caught up in squalid choices and failed dreams. He comes for corporate executives, street people, superstars, farmers, hookers, addicts, IRS agents, AIDS victims, and even used-car salesmen. Jesus not only talks with these people but dines with them—fully aware that His table fellowship with sinners will raise the eyebrows of religious bureaucrats who hold up the robes and insignia of their authority to justify their condemnation of the truth and their rejection of the gospel of grace.”
IN OTHER WORDS, YOU BELONG HERE.
If it’s good enough for the Bananas, then surely it’s good enough for Sunday mornings.
Launching David
Just over a week ago, I dropped my oldest son, David, off at the airport. Upon graduation from the University of Oklahoma, he moved to Greenville, North Carolina. He's now working for Mr. Beast. Before you panic and start quoting from the Book of Revelation, Mr. Beast (or Jimmy Donaldson as he is also known) is the #1 YouTuber in the world with 168 million subscribers. Click HERE to see Mr. Beast’s Philanthropy Channel.
As Michele and I said goodbye to David at the TSA entry, tears filled our eyes. I could not get intelligible words out. I tried to say, "I love you, and I'm so proud of you." It came out more like a slow wail.
Heading back to the car, I shared with Michele how I remember crying when dropping him off on his first day of Kindergarten. The same thing happened when we dropped him off at OU. I hugged him in front of the dorm, said something unintelligible, and cried for 20 minutes in the car at the 7/11 near campus.
Each step of letting go was incredibly hard for me. There are many times I long for David to be just like you see him in the first picture; at the Pottery Barn Kids table in our living room playing Winnie the Pooh games on his iMac. (Okay, I just teared up again.) But as you can see from the second picture, he outgrew that. He certainly can't fit at that table, and by its looks, all of those monitors won’t fit either.
My son was not meant to stay. He was meant to grow and go. That's the tricky thing about being a parent. Success means they leave. They go. Not always to Greenville, but they go.
Jesus calls us to do much the same as believers. Grow and go. But sometimes, I think we are tempted to do the first thing, grow in Christ, and forget the second. We come to know Christ, get involved in a Bible Study and a Church, and it stops there. We keep spiritually feeding ourselves but never leave the Pottery Barn Kids table. We forget Jesus' command to "Go and make disciples…."
I once heard a preacher say that we don't need more Bible Studies. We've got plenty of those. What we need is more "Bible Doing." He's right.
Where are you? Do we really need another Christian book, podcast, or sermon series? Or like, David, is it time to go. To launch.
"Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?' And I said, 'Here am I. Send me!'" Isaiah 6:8
Your heavenly Father is calling. He loves you and is proud of you. It’s time to go.